Personal boundaries are the limits and rules we set for ourselves within relationships. A person with healthy boundaries can say “no” to others when they want to, but they are also comfortable opening themselves up to intimacy and close relationships. A person who always keeps others at a distance (whether emotionally, physically, or otherwise) is said to have rigid boundaries. Alternatively, someone who tends to get too involved with others has poor boundaries. Also keep in mind that having poor boundaries is also a form of giving your power away.
- Values own opinions.
- Doesn’t compromise values for others.
- Shares personal information in an appropriate way (does not over or under share).
- Knows personal wants and needs, and can communicate them.
- Accepting when others say “no” to them.
- Overshares personal information.
- Difficulty saying “no” to the requests of others.
- Over involved with other’s problems.
- Dependent on the opinions of others.
- Accepting of abuse or disrespect.
- Fears rejection if they do not comply with others.
- Avoids intimacy and close relationships.
- Unlikely to ask for help.
- Has few close relationships.
- Very protective of personal information.
- May seem detached, even with romantic partners.
- Keeps others at a distance to avoid the possibility of rejection.
Most people have a mix of different boundary types. For example, someone could have healthy boundaries at work, poor boundaries in romantic relationships, and a mix of all three types with their family. The appropriateness of boundaries depends on the setting. What’s appropriate to say when you’re out with friends might not be appropriate when you’re at work. Some cultures have very different expectations when it comes to boundaries. For example, in some cultures it’s considered wildly inappropriate to express emotions publicly. In other cultures, emotional expression is encouraged.
Preparation: Have your journal ready to take notes.
One Minute Meditation: Take a moment to relax, take a few deep breaths and center yourself.
Begin Exercise: Ask yourself the following questions…
Think about a person with whom you struggle to set healthy boundaries. This could mean that your boundaries are too rigid (you keep your distance), too poor (you open up too much), or there’s some other problem that isn’t so easily labeled. Who do you struggle to set healthy boundaries with?
Boundary Categories: What categories would you choose to describe your relationship with this person you listed above?
- Physical Boundaries
- Intellectual Boundaries
- Emotional Boundaries
- Sexual Boundaries
- Material Boundaries
- Time Boundaries
Take a moment to imagine what it will be like when you begin to establish healthy boundaries with this person.
- What are some specific actions you can take to improve your boundaries with this person?
- How do you think they will respond to these changes?
- How do you think your life will be different once you’ve established healthy boundaries with this person?
Focus: What was the most significant part about this session?
Create an action plan: What action are you willing to take? Write it down.
Hey friends! Finally after many years and what seems like lifetimes of preparing this project for you, it is finally ready. CLICK HERE for all the details and please let me know if you have any questions. Looking forward to sharing this amazing this journey with you…
Sincerely, Rebekah J Simpson
Certified Life Coach and Earth Medicine Practitioner
Founder EMSHA Earth Medicine School of Healing Arts
As I read this very slowly and thought about it carefully, I realized it is so true! It all starts with making a choice which also means making a decision. That’s the first step, then the next step is taking action. The action is the chance you will take. Really, any time we decide to take action on anything we are taking a chance. We do it all day and may not even realize it. But here we are talking about taking bigger chances and more action. Yes, your life will always keep changing, at least in small ways but if you take bigger chances your life will change in bigger ways. What chance are you willing to take to get better results?
Expect miracles, Rebekah J Simpson
You know you are here for a reason but you still play small. But why? Maybe you have always thought it was fear of success. What if it is not a fear of being successful but a fear of failure? Do you have unfinished projects? Or do you have great ideas but never take action? This is not a fear of success, but could quite possibly be a fear of failure. This most likely comes from your childhood. Once you learn what your old patters are you can recognize them and take a different approach. In just one life coaching session I can help you change this old pattern for good and you will be well on your way to achieving success.
It is said that the things we fear the most are the things we need to face first. Face the fear… feel the freedom!
Expect miracles, Rebakah J Simpson
Rebekah’s Personal Development Coaching Program is an eight week coaching program that will transform your entire life. This course is for individuals who are ready to make positive changes on a personal level. During the course Rebekah will empower, motivate and help you change your life forever.
There are so many powerful coaching exercises. We will begin with an introduction to the course, what to expect, set up a schedule, etc. Then each week we will complete the exercise by phone. Each session/exercise is approximately one hour.
This course is for individuals who are ready to make positive changes on a personal level. During this course Rebekah will empower, motivate and encourage you in ways that will change your life forever.
She uses powerful coaching tools, techniques and exercises that are designed to create more:
Positive thinking, words and action
Life Coaching can bring out the very best in everyone by getting clear on a specific goal or desire, removing blocks, creating an action plan, following through, following up and using measurable accountability.
Sessions available in person, phone, or Skype
Eight week program, 16 sessions, two per week, one hour per session
Expect Miracles, Rebekah J Simpson
The law of giving and receiving… Today, bring whoever you encounter a gift, a compliment or a flower. Gratefully receive gifts also. Keep wealth circulating by giving and receiving care, appreciation, and love…
Everything is constantly on the move in the universe. It’s the flow of energy and information. It’s the effortless movement of consciousness ultimately that results in the diversity of expression in the universe. “Currency, ” our word for money, derices from the latan word meaning to run or flow. Money is a symbol or constant, flowing exchange. If our intention is to hoard our money, we will stop its circulation back into our life. Instead, we have to keep energy and the free flow of ideas circulating in the world. ~ Deepak Chopra
If you are looking for love, stop searching! Instead, express love to everyone you meet and love will find you. And when it does, you will know it. It’s like using reverse psychology on the universe.
Rebekah J Simpson
As we are coming into a new age of human evolution, we are being taught to trust and let go of control. We don’t have to struggle anymore. That is the old way. We don’t have to try and control our environment and situations either. Its time to relax into the unknown. Let go of the fear that has held us back, let go of the worry, anxiety, and pain. When something doesn’t seem to go “our way,” there is a reason. Surrender, follow the path of least resistance and practice the law of least effort. It seems that everything is going to happen the way it does no matter what we do. It’s as if our life story is already written for us before we got here. The more we try to control it, and struggle against each moment, we are just setting ourselves back from receiving true happiness and joy. Many people live most of there lives stuck in the same situation, usually unhappy and too scared to try and change. Because to change, we would have to get out of our comfort zone and that makes us uncomfortable. Its easier to stay locked in place and continue to be unhappy.
If we decide today to embrace change, surrender and go with the flow, we will begin to see how beautiful and magical life really is. Its like taking off a mask that we’ve wore for so many years. It’s okay to change, and it’s okay to trust that everything will unfold perfectly. Look for the “silver lining” in every moment, situation, and person. When we begin to look for the positive in everything, then that is what we will attract to us. Be grateful for what you have, and show appreciation for it in what ever way you can.
There is a force in the universe, which, if we permit it, will flow through us and provide miraculous results. The key is to apply this knowledge in the moment. The more we practice it, the better we get at it. Begin today to let go and trust that there is a higher purpose for us, and that all discomfort is just a part of the process of finding our path. Step into the flow…
Here is my free gift to you…
What goals do you have for 2013? What did you want to accomplish last year and didn’t get to?
It’s never too late to start or finish.
Here is a powerful coaching tool that can help you get clear on your goals and create motivation to accomplish them.
Set about an hour aside of clear uninterrupted time. Clear your thoughts and center yourself…
1. Write what you would like to do, have, be, or accomplish in 2013. Keep writing until you run out of thoughts.
2. Narrow them down to your top three and prioritize them.
3. Separate each of your goals on their own piece of paper. Set a realistic date you would like to accomplish it by.
4. Start with your first goal; Write the details of this goal, then write down “why” you want to accomplish it. Now take a minute to visualize already having this goal and what it feels like.
Note that we didn’t look at “how” this is going to happen. We just focus on what we want and how it feels to already have it. Along the way, as you continue to take action, you will start to notice people, situations and new doors opening up to support you on this goal.
Be patient and don’t force the goal to happen. Instead, allow it to unfold spontaneously and watch each piece of the puzzle put itself in place as the bigger picture begins to appear.
Remind yourself often of your “why.” Why are you doing this? This is the fuel that keeps your flame of passion burning, and will illuminate your dreams and goals to manifest into your life. In order to fulfill a dream or a goal, we have to stretch out of our comfort zone. We have to be realistic, persistent, and consistent. Make sure to acknowledge how far you have come already, this expression of gratitude for yourself is a huge piece of this grand puzzle.
I would love to help you with this as your personal Life Coach. I will help you see your vision clearly, empower you to take action, and hold you accountable with no judgment. I will hold a space of compassion and love for you as you walk through this part of your journey in life. I believe in you. -Rebekah