Are you motivated by Fear or Love?

There are two basic motivating forces: fear and love. When we are afraid, we pull back from life. When we are in love, we open to all that life has to offer with passion, excitement, and acceptance. We need to learn to love ourselves first, in all our glory and our imperfections. If we cannot love ourselves, we cannot fully open to our ability to love others or our potential to create. Evolution and all hopes for a better world rest in the fearlessness and open-hearted vision of people who embrace life. ∼ JOHN LENNON

What to do when someone triggers you…

A new awareness around being triggered…

  1. Become aware when you are being triggered.
  2. Put a name on it. Label it.
  3. How am I being like this to others or what can I learn from this?
  4. Own it, take responsibility and work through it.

In the past, when someone would do or say something that upset me or made me feel anxiety, fear, unheard, unseen, angry or frustrated, I would react and complain or get defensive.

Now that I better understand the concept of me creating my own reality and other people are just mirrors and reflections of me, I can take ownership and responsibility for my emotions.

They are ultimately there to help me learn, grow, and have a better understanding.

Now, instead of getting all pumped up when something like this happens, I just breathe and notice how I feel. So essentially, I am bringing awareness to the moment.

Then I have the opportunity to either give my power away or keep it, react or respond. If I react to the situation with anger, fear, or whatever, then I am giving my power away. This could cause an argument or power struggle. This is the part of my ego who feels hurt and only wants to be right, to be seen, heard, noticed, appreciated and so on.

Alternatively, if I look at it and call it out (gently), then I am responding to it. In this way I am able to feel the emotion run through my body yet remain calm and collected. No need to become defensive. This does not mean to become passive either. It’s just a neutral, safe place to stay in during the growth process.

Next I go within myself to see where I might be doing that to others. Usually it not so easily discovered but if I look deep enough, and am willing to accept the idea that I may be doing that to others, then my ego is exposed and the beauty of it is revealed!

The next step is to work with it as I move forward. Be gentle with myself as I practice the new way of responding.

There are many different aspects and situations that can come from this concept and I look forward to the challenge!