Take your Power back and Heal from the Deepest Darkest Wounds of your Past

Being a Medicine Woman has lead me on a path of spending more time alone communing with nature, the trees, the animals, the spirits, the water and listening to the wind. I don’t need anyone to approve of me, to accept me, to love me. I don’t need attention, complements or to be told I’m beautiful. I don’t seek men or relationships anymore to fulfill that which was once hidden from within me. Why? Because… I’ve learned to love myself. I love myself! I love my kindness, my silliness, my flaws, my weaknesses, my mistakes, my knowledge and I love standing in my power. I eat what I want, exercise when I want, go to sleep when I want and wake when I want. No one and no thing has power over me. How do I do it? I’ll tell you my secret…. You are creating all of it and once you learn to take responsibility for that, then you will begin to see the magic of why you are here and what your mission is. You choose what you give your power away too and you choose what you will take your power back from. Stand in your power! Be authentic, be real, be raw, be vulnerable, and when they push you down you stand up and brush them off and keep walkin. The more you try to stand in your power, the more they will try to keep you from it. They will put beautiful, shiney irresistible people, situations and things in front of you, to distract you, delay you, take you off your path. But you’ve come so far, and you’ve put up with so much that now you begin to recognize it and you now have the strength to stop it before it even has a chance to touch you. Why, because you know that you are creating it.

Have you ever seen the movie, “The Labyrinth” with David Bowie and Jennifer Connelly? Remember the scene where she tells him, “You have no power over me” and the entire illusion collapses? Well, that’s not far from the truth of the story of our lives. Where did we give our power away, and how did we take it back. What are you giving your power away to and how will you take it back?

Do you have Healthy Boundaries? A Life Coaching Exercise within the Shamanic Life Coach Certification Course

Personal boundaries are the limits and rules we set for ourselves within relationships. A person with healthy boundaries can say “no” to others when they want to, but they are also comfortable opening themselves up to intimacy and close relationships. A person who always keeps others at a distance (whether emotionally, physically, or otherwise) is said to have rigid boundaries. Alternatively, someone who tends to get too involved with others has poor boundaries. Also keep in mind that having poor boundaries is also a form of giving your power away.

Healthy Boundaries:

  • Values own opinions.
  • Doesn’t compromise values for others.
  • Shares personal information in an appropriate way (does not over or under share).
  • Knows personal wants and needs, and can communicate them.
  • Accepting when others say “no” to them.

Poor Boundaries:

  • Overshares personal information.
  • Difficulty saying “no” to the requests of others.
  • Over involved with other’s problems.
  • Dependent on the opinions of others.
  • Accepting of abuse or disrespect.
  • Fears rejection if they do not comply with others.

Rigid Boundaries:

  • Avoids intimacy and close relationships.
  • Unlikely to ask for help.
  • Has few close relationships.
  • Very protective of personal information.
  • May seem detached, even with romantic partners.
  • Keeps others at a distance to avoid the possibility of rejection.

Most people have a mix of different boundary types. For example, someone could have healthy boundaries at work, poor boundaries in romantic relationships, and a mix of all three types with their family. The appropriateness of boundaries depends on the setting. What’s appropriate to say when you’re out with friends might not be appropriate when you’re at work. Some cultures have very different expectations when it comes to boundaries. For example, in some cultures it’s considered wildly inappropriate to express emotions publicly. In other cultures, emotional expression is encouraged.

Preparation: Have your journal ready to take notes.

One Minute Meditation: Take a moment to relax, take a few deep breaths and center yourself.

Begin Exercise: Ask yourself the following questions…

Think about a person with whom you struggle to set healthy boundaries. This could mean that your boundaries are too rigid (you keep your distance), too poor (you open up too much), or there’s some other problem that isn’t so easily labeled. Who do you struggle to set healthy boundaries with?

Boundary Categories: What categories would you choose to describe your relationship with this person you listed above?

  • Physical Boundaries
  • Intellectual Boundaries
  • Emotional Boundaries
  • Sexual Boundaries
  • Material Boundaries
  • Time Boundaries

Take a moment to imagine what it will be like when you begin to establish healthy boundaries with this person.

  1. What are some specific actions you can take to improve your boundaries with this person?
  2. How do you think they will respond to these changes?
  3. How do you think your life will be different once you’ve established healthy boundaries with this person?

Focus: What was the most significant part about this session?

Create an action plan: What action are you willing to take? Write it down.

Are you motivated by Fear or Love?

There are two basic motivating forces: fear and love. When we are afraid, we pull back from life. When we are in love, we open to all that life has to offer with passion, excitement, and acceptance. We need to learn to love ourselves first, in all our glory and our imperfections. If we cannot love ourselves, we cannot fully open to our ability to love others or our potential to create. Evolution and all hopes for a better world rest in the fearlessness and open-hearted vision of people who embrace life. ∼ JOHN LENNON

What to do when someone triggers you…

A new awareness around being triggered…

  1. Become aware when you are being triggered.
  2. Put a name on it. Label it.
  3. How am I being like this to others or what can I learn from this?
  4. Own it, take responsibility and work through it.

In the past, when someone would do or say something that upset me or made me feel anxiety, fear, unheard, unseen, angry or frustrated, I would react and complain or get defensive.

Now that I better understand the concept of me creating my own reality and other people are just mirrors and reflections of me, I can take ownership and responsibility for my emotions.

They are ultimately there to help me learn, grow, and have a better understanding.

Now, instead of getting all pumped up when something like this happens, I just breathe and notice how I feel. So essentially, I am bringing awareness to the moment.

Then I have the opportunity to either give my power away or keep it, react or respond. If I react to the situation with anger, fear, or whatever, then I am giving my power away. This could cause an argument or power struggle. This is the part of my ego who feels hurt and only wants to be right, to be seen, heard, noticed, appreciated and so on.

Alternatively, if I look at it and call it out (gently), then I am responding to it. In this way I am able to feel the emotion run through my body yet remain calm and collected. No need to become defensive. This does not mean to become passive either. It’s just a neutral, safe place to stay in during the growth process.

Next I go within myself to see where I might be doing that to others. Usually it not so easily discovered but if I look deep enough, and am willing to accept the idea that I may be doing that to others, then my ego is exposed and the beauty of it is revealed!

The next step is to work with it as I move forward. Be gentle with myself as I practice the new way of responding.

There are many different aspects and situations that can come from this concept and I look forward to the challenge!