Control or Approval

This exercise can help us see how we may be getting in our own way by trying to control a situation. It can also show us how the need for approval can hold us back.

Preparation: Have your journal ready to take notes.

One Minute Meditation: Take a moment to relax, take a few deep breaths and center yourself.

Begin the Session: Answer the questions below. Take your time and explore each question to the fullest.

What is something significant that is currently happening in your life or has happened recently?

If any, what are some of the ways you seek to control this situation?

What are some of the ways you seek approval in this situation?

Now on a scale of 1-10, ten being the most honest you can get, how would you rate yourself as for being honest with yourself? Circle one: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Now back to the thought of control vs. approval. If you had to choose, would you choose to have total control or total approval in your life?

For the purpose of this coaching exercise, which would you prefer: Being and having total control of your world and life or having everyone 100% approve of you?

What do you notice about the need for control or approval in your life?

What does it mean for you when you don’t have complete control or everyone’s approval? How does that show up in your life?

Based on your answer, what stand do you want to take regarding control and approval?

Now, are you ready for the BIG question? Would you be willing to give up your need for control or approval?

Imagine your life free of the need for control or approval. What would that look like and feel like?

When you think of choosing to give up the need for control or approval, does that feeling add juice to your life or add anxiety to it?

One of the most significant aspects of Life Coaching is that you can make a huge difference in your life just by looking at things objectively making new choices.

What will you take away from this coaching session?

What is one thing that you are willing to do to support your choice?

Focus the session: What was the most significant part of this session? Focus the coaching session around that.

Create an action plan: What action are you willing to take? Write it down.

When using this exercise with your client: Go through questions and focus on important aspects of your client’s answers. Ask your client what actions they are willing to take pertaining to each question? Write them down.

Close the Session: Thank your client. Acknowledge them for being so open and willing to look at these areas of their life with you. Use the 1-10 scale. Schedule a follow-up session.